PUNNY GIRL

The weirdest things make me laugh in the morning.

Wed, 22 May 2013 08:50:38 -0400

The weirdest things make me laugh in the morning.

"I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 08:48:47 -0400

“

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

”

- David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person (via creatingaquietmind)

notthatindie: I just realized that I had never actually seen...

Tue, 21 May 2013 19:41:59 -0400

notthatindie:

I just realized that I had never actually seen this posted, so here you go: Extra Hot Great’s exhaustive list of alternative names for Benedict Cumberbatch.

Englebert Rabblecatch
Fingerslurp Needlethatch
Jinglebear Fumblerant
Eggybread Wonderlatch
Sainsbury’s Valuematch
Spongebob Squarepatch
Soothsayer Fortunebatch
Tinygarden Cucumberranch
Reginald Bumberflat
Buckingham Superslam
Edinburgh Slumberparty
Riverstyx Cobblebricks
Crannynook Muffinman
Escalator Roundabout
Manchester Dunderbreath
Loggerhead Chariotdash
Lickmstick Mumblecore
Turtleneck Dumbledore
Officepolicy Opendoor
Chrysanthemum Oprahsnatch
Cormorant Thundercrotch
Saskatchewan Pancakestack
Majorgeneral Flapjack
Griddlecake on Avon
Gaslight Thundercloud
Steampunk Motherhen
Debrickashaw Ferguson
Dancepocket Cabbagepatch
Cumberbund Manmoustache
Bumbershoot Pageantsash
Brer rabbit Briarpatch
Lichtenstein Hitlerstash
Watercloset Lifttorch
Chipbuttie Breadpudding
Bangers Kippermash
Handlebar Chimneysweep
Deepmoat Castlekeep
Cattleprod Rattlestick
Mortimer Candlesnatch
Ripperjack Slashattack
Collectible Bric-a-Brac
Sterling Halfpence
Biggles Vassalhomage
Hastings Stonyhenge
Caravan Bumpypatch
Letterbox Summerhouse
Litterbox Smellycat
Everett Poopershoot
BenandJerrys Downthehatch
Bandicoot Culdesac
Parlortrick Humblesnatch
Thistledick Pantywaist
Barefoot Candywitch
Bigfoot Clammersplat
Beefeater Doublegloucester
Benetton Puttershot
Cinnamon Toastencrunch
Cardamom Wintergarden
Tosspot Drinkleberry
Pippa Costermonger
Vindaloo Babysmack
Blossompop Gooberdrone
Malachai Hoppingtown
Levington Uterus
Kensington Markmywords
Easterly Heffalump
Cornwallis Poopiepants
Wainscotting Tinklebaron
Inkburger Trolleyfare
Ethelred Crumbpacker
Nostradripus Copperpot
Chesterfield Wingback
Cumberhump Balderdash
Baldrick Cunninplangus
Eggbert Bandersnatch
Merchant Ivorytusk
Trafalgar Walkercrisps
Templeton Facemanpeck
Applebees Happyhour
Burgertime Picklechef

PS, Extra Hot Great is my absolute favorite pop culture podcast and you need it in your life.

I’ve posted this before, but I don’t care: It’s hilarious every single time.

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Fri, 17 May 2013 00:33:11 -0400

No, but actually: be still my heart.

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:31:26 -0400

No, but actually: be still my heart.

Be still my heart.

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:29:11 -0400

Be still my heart.

Wait, am I Tilda Swinton?

Mon, 13 May 2013 15:09:43 -0400

Wait, am I Tilda Swinton?

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Mon, 13 May 2013 08:55:36 -0400

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Fri, 10 May 2013 11:24:08 -0400

This makes me so happy. I’ve watched it like five times...

Thu, 09 May 2013 09:00:40 -0400

This makes me so happy. I’ve watched it like five times already.

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Fri, 03 May 2013 08:55:36 -0400

dreamsofchaos: older-and-far-away: If you are sad today, or...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:07:20 -0400

dreamsofchaos:

older-and-far-away:

If you are sad today, or hung over, or stressed out, or even if you are fine but could use a giggle, well…kittens on a roomba. NEVER NOT WONDERFUL.

be still my heart

“How about those Germans?”

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:15:44 -0400

“How about those Germans?”

hi i believe you are the one who wrote the Fudge that Sugar comics and I just wanted to say that I posted one of your comics on my blog to show my friends and it got over 1000 notes and counting, you can see it on my blog. Also I love the comics so much please make more <3

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:51:21 -0400

That IS me! Thank you so much! I’m always amazed that anybody liked the comics. Sadly, the comic has come to an end - I have a full-time job and a life outside the comic, and combined with other circumstances, that all meant it was time to end it. I’ll still be on Twitter and here on Tumblr, though!

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Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:53:17 -0400

Holy crap. Real or not real (IS HE A WIZARD?), I am still...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:32:00 -0400

Holy crap.

Real or not real (IS HE A WIZARD?), I am still impressed.

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Fri, 26 Apr 2013 08:24:04 -0400

daffodilsandgravestones: 2nd-dude: deduction-to-seduction: ded...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:19:35 -0400

daffodilsandgravestones:

2nd-dude:

deduction-to-seduction:

deduction-to-seduction:

hiddlesbatchlove:

deduction-to-seduction:

You’ve been playing with fire, mother. Prepare to get B U R N E D

I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10000 YEARS

Update: My mum came home. It’s a good thing I did this in the bathroom because she nearly peed herself when she saw it. After she finished laughing she turned to me with this dead serious expression and whispered

“This means war”

and silently walked out of the room

Guys I’m scared shitless I think my mum is gonna kill me in my sleep

UPDATE: I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND MY COMPUTER BACKGROUND WAS CHANGED TO THIS

WITH A STICKY NOTE ON THE KEY BOARD THAT SAYS

“I am the oncoming storm”

HELP

omg hahaha, must reblog

Omfg

A few weeks old, but this is amazing.

Bravo.

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 09:09:47 -0400

Bravo.

I didn’t realize how badly I wanted this until it...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:19:48 -0400

I didn’t realize how badly I wanted this until it happened.